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2010-03-07 - 12:26 a.m.
So, i was sitting here today, listening to Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness and I went ahead and shot over wikipedia for a look. I certainly didn't have wikipedia at my disposal when I was in high school and I bought this album. Anyways, a portion of the entry on wikipedia was talking about Billy Corgan feeling like Mellon Collie was sort of like him letting go of his youth when he wrote it. According to wikipedia, he wrote it for people between the ages of 14 and 24. I remember listening to this album when I was a senior in high school and just absolutely blaring it on the way to school each morning. At the time I just thought it was good stuff, and it was heavy music, and I liked it because there was some screaming, and I was pretty sure that my parents didn't like it. Now that I am 31 and listening to the entire 2 disc album, it means so much more to me than it did when I was young. I don't think I was mature enough at that time (in high school) to realize what Billy was really trying to say. I just thought he was talking about being disillusioned with regard to religion and being frustrated by his interactions with other people. Over he last 24 hours I have acquired a whole new appreciation for this album. Looking back, I thought that I knew so much, that I had everything figured out. I don't really have much o anything figured out now. I certainly have some miles under my belt and I a feel like I am making an effort to move forward. On the one hand, it takes me bak to high school when I listen to this particular album (and some others) just because I spent so much time listening to them during that period of my life. On the other hand, listening to the album now makes me reflect on how I felt at that point in my life. I don't just associate a track with a trip to the beach or a summer on the lake. I listen to the tracks and they speak to me like they never have before. I hear them now, but they are talking to the 19 year old. He was confused, ignorant, bitter, misled, hurt, frustrated, and totally running on impulse. It is sort of refreshing to reflect on those days from over ten years down the road. Maybe.... just maybe.... my children will read this silly attempt at a blog and understand a few things before I did. I hope that they come to to terms with themselves long before I had the courage to do so. I still work on it every day. Ahhh.... 1979.... I was only 1 year old... but what a fucking song..... It just makes you feel alive and reckless. |